Half-time show

Half-time show

Alexandra from Hungary, volunteers at “Youth for Understanding Vlaanderen" in Belgium from February 2019 to February 2020, where she travels around Flanders to give workshops on intercultural cooperation to high school pupils.

Have you ever wondered about the reasons behind many sporting events having a half-time break? I never did, up until this point, when I have reached the half time of my volunteering experience. To be completely honest, I still have a couple of days left until reaching the exact middle of my big year. The year I am spending in Belgium with the only thing I know I love with all of my heart – volunteering. However, for the occasion I looked up the origins of having a half-time break in many sport contest. Half-time is something that is beneficial for the players, teams and the correspondents, the advertising agencies and also for the viewers (especially if there is also a half-time show involved). It gives an opportunity to rest and regenerate, to switch playing fields, to look back on what happened, to reflect and if needed to set a new course of action. And for the promoters and sponsors to have a little advertisement. Now I would like to invite you to join me for my personal half-time show, because this is it. For me, an opportunity to look back, for the European Solidarity Corps to promote these brilliant opportunities, and hopefully for the readers it will be a good spectacle and something to enjoy. 

I am living in Mechelen, a lovely little town in Belgium, volunteering for the organization Youth for Understanding Vlaanderen. Most of the time I organize and deliver workshops about intercultural competences for high school students.

I was born and raised in Hungary, where youth work and volunteering is not really understood or appreciated by people. I still remember trying to explain to my high schools friend why it is a good thing to spend my free time with doing something for others, organizing events, talking with high school directors, or participating in training weekends where we consider learning fun and something we actually want to do. I felt like it is something that I cannot do as a living; that it has to stay a hobby for all my life, something to do to escape the boring school – or later work hours. And when I heard about the European Solidarity Corps volunteering opportunities, my main motivation was to be able to do this great hobby, this inspiring work with other young people full-time. To only have to focus on developing myself to be better and to be able to reach and help more people. I was tired of juggling work and sports and recreation and learning and also doing volunteer work. I got used to it, because I started having so many different things in my life to manage at the age of 15, but still, I felt I want to try just volunteering.

I would say that I had incredibly high expectations and plans for my volunteering year. Finding the perfect project for myself, deciding to close an important and big chapter in my life, uprooting everything I knew and moving to Belgium was relatively easier than expected. Yes, I cried on my last day in Hungary and yes, I was stressing about missing my plane or having my luggage get lost in the 1500 kilometers between Budapest and Charleroi, but all in all, I think I was ready for this to happen.

And now, looking back at the past 5 and a half months, I am incredibly grateful and happy I decided to embark on this adventure. Referring back to the sports metaphor, looking back is kind of like seeing the highlights of a sporting event. Obviously, there were some occasions that do not pop into my mind immediately, because who would want to look back on feeling lonely and without a purpose sometimes, or being confused and even a bit disappointed about some inevitable inconveniences. The hours that start to flash back in front of me are those wonderful, magical moments that I was not really expecting to have at all. Visiting Disneyland in Paris thanks to the college located in the town I live, packing my backpack and going to Rotterdam for a weekend with three other volunteers who I have never met before, or watching Bastille play live in Rock Werchter, one of Belgium’s biggest musical festival where I had the opportunity to volunteer and participate for free. Or spending a long weekend in Zealand, and walk into the North Sea for the first time. Without really thinking, I am able to see the goal situations I had during these months. And boy, I have gained so many points already. I wanted to develop myself in visual facilitation and being able to draw – or more doodle – to support my workshops, and now I have received many feedback about how amazing my posters can be. I wanted to have some time to be able to learn and develop myself, and I started a learning journal. I wanted to feel more okay and happy, and now I do 30 days challenges that are connected to positive psychology and being mindful and grateful – sometimes even without realizing, that this is what I am doing. I wanted to gain more experiences as a trainer, and I have been chosen to do an 8 day training in Norway in November. I have met a really wide spectrum of individuals, with the most incredible stories ever, from the Syrian refugee who was in an explosion to a Belgian volunteer who helped children in Bali to learn with the power of music. 

Nevertheless, yes, there were also moments that do not make the cut to be highlighted, and those not-so-pretty things are maybe even more valuable considering my own learning journey. My constant battle with not being able to speak Dutch, the fact that I have been missing my wonderful Budapest and all those important people I left behind in Hungary. That here I do not have several communities filled with people sharing history or common interest or similar values. Here I am alone. Me and my thoughts, which can be critical and impatient sometimes. It’s easier to focus on things that could have been better, than to just stop and appreciate my own bravery, to face a year of challenges by myself. It is easier to look in the mirror, and see my faults than to be my own best friend and be proud of all the things I have already accomplished. 

Looking back at half-time and thinking about how European Solidarity Corps changed or is changing my life, it is hard to just talk about one or two things. I am changing in a sense that I am being more patient with myself, I can turn my focus inside and be a quiet observer of my own thoughts. I can realize when I am having a hard time or being fussy like a little child. This weekend I even got the point where I was treating myself the same way I know my mom would if she had been there to see me. With that kind and loving gentleness. Being far away from my home and the first 24 years of my life helped me realize that I cannot just pack my bags, run away from my problems and hope that they will somehow, magically solve themselves. I feel more in sync with my thoughts and myself than ever before. This is me, with all the criticism and all the motivation to help others. This is me, constantly looking for new friends and connections and in the same time being impatient and distant with that few people who are in my Belgian life.

One thing however, that I like to mention is finding my way back to the love of writing. Finally having interesting stories to tell, I decided to start a blog again. It is a great place to air out my thoughts, to think about how much I have learned and what are and were the milestones of my year in Belgium. It was supposed to be a journal to remember and a quick way to keep people - who are interested about me – in the loop about my life. Than somehow it became so much more. Writing is the closest I can get to being in a flow. Being so immersed, so emotional that I get goosebumps every time I start to pour out my heart and mind on the virtual paper. It makes me want to learn more about how I can do it more professionally. 

European Solidarity Corps is giving me purpose. Strength to face challenges, opportunity to find my inner peace, and trust that I will find my next career steps and I will be able to deliver results. European Solidarity Corps is making me resilient, tolerant and more open-minded. It makes me happy and sad, creates the most magical and the loneliest hours of my life. European Solidarity Corps, this specific project and situation also made me my own facilitator, supporter, coach, a guide to help me think about this whole experience as a one-year-long training. It gave me the idea to realize that I am at the half-time and maybe I should take a breather, stop and look around what happened before and refocus so I can gather energy for the upcoming six months.

I have been sitting on a metaphorical bench for the last week or so, just trying to catch my breath, looking around for a solution to feeling stuck. This morning I was just scrolling to my e-mail without really looking for anything. And this contest fell into my lap. See, the last time I was writing this much was around the age of 12. And now, without even thinking about it twice, here I am, listening to Adele for some reason, writing a half-time show for you and just as much for me. Looking back, reflecting, thinking about how my mind and soul works, and what I really need to move forward. Without European Solidarity Corps I would probably be doing some boring administrative work, and I would definitely not be writing and getting goosebumps about thinking what happened with me in the last six months.

I think I still need a couple of days to take a deep breath and rest, charge my batteries before diving in for the second half. However, my inner coach knows that I will be ready soon and come back stronger, more focused. I have faith that whatever is happening and whatever will happen is exactly the right thing to happen. And I know that there are still some miracles waiting for me.